“Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.”

I have heard this quote quite a few times and attributed to a number of people: Groucho Marx, Spike Milligan. The first time I heard it, I fell in love. So often, we try to act as if nothing is wrong, as if we’ve never been hurt. “Keep a still upper lip” and so on. The truth is, life can hurt sometimes. You can feel hopeless and helpless. I think we’ve all been there at some point. I know I have.

One of my dear friends once told me, when I was going through a particularly painful time, “it’s okay to not be okay”. I don’t know if she realized how much that changed my life. That powerful statement gave me what I’d always needed–permission to hurt, permission to not always act like everything’s okay. It also gave me permission to ask for help. What a gift that five-word sentence was for me. I try to pass it to others myself now.

What can being cracked give you?  A lot of things, honestly. However, I think that there are three top gifts that being cracked can offer:

1. The chance to be put back together again. Sure, when you’re building yourself back up, there will be some bumps and bruises, a few battle scars. You won’t ever look the same. But how cool is that? Personally, I find scars beautiful. You have been hurt. You have been struck down in some way, but here you are, standing. Wow. You are magnificent.
2. You have little crevices for light. How else can we accept and absorb goodness if we’re not open, a little vulnerable ourselves? Vulnerability is so hard. It makes me feel “itchy”, like I need to hide and wait until the other person has forgotten how human I am. Being a little cracked can be wonderful. When we’re vulnerable, we ask for and receive help. We have deeper connections. We find greater meanings in our interactions and our lives. Brene Brown has done a lot of great work with vulnerability and I fully agree that to feel connection with others, we must embrace our vulnerability. The nooks and crannies created by being cracked lend opportunities for connection, fulfillment, and growth.
3. The light you let in can help someone else. Okay, not everyone is a super softie social worker like me, I know. But (bear with me) this world can be made a better place when we help others. Think about someone you know who has had a huge impact in your life. Were they perfect? I doubt it. Why are they impactful for you? When I think of all those who have impacted me, not one of them isn’t cracked in some way. They grew from something and their lives have changed me for the better. Just think of where you could be in one, five, ten years. You may be impacting someone to heal in the same beautiful way you have.

Mary Oliver is one of my favorite poets. She writes:

“Someone I loved once gave me a box full of darkness. It took me years to understand that this too, was a gift.”

Don’t ever be ashamed of feeling cracked. All one can do is sit up, assess the damage, and with fierce self-love, start to put herself back together again. You deserve the work that will take and you deserve how much better you will be for it.