I went to a training last week about trauma, addiction, and finances. I really loved it and learned so much. One of my greatest takeaways was the idea that any problems you have with money represent the barriers you have between yourself and living your best life.

Whoa. Take a second to think about that. Any problems you have with money represent the barriers you have between you and your best self.

That’s huge to me! What could that be for you? I know a lot of people who are fearful of money and they would probably admit that they’re pretty fearful in life. One could also be angry or resentful. Maybe someone could be too reliant. The truth is that most people (I would wager) do not have healthy relationships with money. So what’s holding them back from fulfillment.

I think that when working on improving your relationship with finances, it’s helpful to go back in time. Here are some questions to get started:

1. What messages were you taught about money when you were young?
2. What did you hear about money when you were young? (This is different from #1. We hear a lot as kids that is not actually told to us. Maybe you heard conversations between your parents. Maybe you remember a family member stressing over bills at the dinner table? What did those memories teach you?)
3. What is the function of money in your relationships as an adult?

Money does not have to rule your life. True, we can’t live with it and we can’t live without it, but there are ways to make sure it doesn’t drive all of your behaviors, relationships, and goals.